Skip to main content

Life is Uncertain

Took the two lads to the local almost fast food place for dinner two weeks ago. It was cold and the restaurant was almost deserted, just us eating our fries along with two older fellows.

Mid-meal I did my usual recon around the place to see if any of my wife's relatives or my ex-girlfriends were on site, the latter which would possibly help determine which exit we used. Ninety-percent of the time that we eat at this place we see one of my wife's relatives, and as for ex-girlfriends ...

My visual inspection confirmed that we were nearly alone in the restaurant but my gaze fell on one of the old fellows sitting alone in a booth by the window. He looked to be 65 or so, thin, and wore his jacket over his shoulders, not taking any chances with the heat.

He did nothing to draw attention to himself, but it was difficult to look away. His face was like a dishrag and he had a nearly visible pall of sadness around him. He looked defeated. Each time a car went by or someone walked into the restaurant, his head perked up for a moment, looking for recognition, but then went back down to stare at the table top and his lone cup of coffee.

What can you do? Or, to put it more aptly, what can you do when you have a two year old and an 11 year old and you're dangerously low on both milk and fries and you've already stacked all the creams on the table into towers and knocked them down ten times?

The other old fellow walked over and said hello. Since they were both in their sixties we could clearly hear what they were saying, as could people in the gas station next door, I'd assume. Introductions were made and they pretty much started to give each other their recent history.

The lonely guy with his jacket on his shoulders said that, unannounced, his wife of 35 years had recently left him for another man and that they were to be married soon. He said this came as a complete surprise and "my wife never even told me what I did wrong". He said his kids had stopped talking to him and his wife wants all the furniture. He seemed exasperated by how it had all blindsided him.

His new friend said that his wife of 40 years had recently and unexpectedly died. He could not bring himself to eat at home yet and was eating dinner "over town" most nights. He stood by the booth of the coat on the shoulders guy, and they tried to console one another, as much as Minnesota guys are capable of, anyway.

Someone said you never write anything of real value until you're 40. I don't know about that; I read things now that I wrote in my late 20s and am envious of the energy and enthusiasm that guy has so much of. I do know that I spent a very long time in my life trying to understand why I made the mistakes that I did and how these events impacted my life and relationships.

We drove through the drive through an hour later (I have a teenager) and the two lonely guys were now sitting in a booth, two cups of coffee between them, trying to understand it all.

Popular posts from this blog

Never Closer To Death

The doctor stuck his hand at me, and said, "Congratulations. This is amazing. How did you do it?". I shook his hand and looked momentarily at his wide smile and the clear sincerity in his face, he really wanted to know how I did it and wasn't just being supportive. I knew then that I had never been closer to death in my entire life. How I did what? As men age, their physician will be constantly feeding them numbers gleaned from blood and urine tests, index numbers based on your weight and height and explaining how these numbers impact your mortality. My Dr has been on my ass for the last two years to lower all the usual numbers and to get and keep moving. I did all that, but honestly didn't move too far off the infamous 'Dean & Evan' diet. He gave me the usual regimen of tests yesterday. When he returned to the room he was smiling broadly and clearly happy with the results. BP: 110/68; LDL: 57; blood sugar, medium normal. When your mom walks into your room...

Child Not Childs

It might surprise blog readers to learn that I have long been a fan of Julia Child. I have never made a meal from one of her recipes but I have read seemingly all of her biographies and some of her published letters. I have always found her remarkable journey from working in the OSS during WWII to assembling the nearly insurmountable volume of recipes for her book to pan-flipping her way into the American culture such a great story. I also liked the way that she almost completely disregarded the celebrity aspect of her life, always answering questions about herself, her recipes or work in a matter of fact fashion. I saw some late in life "living history" program not long ago with J Child and the interviewer asked her, as an introduction, to talk about her early life. She gave a momentary rolled eye expression and said, simply, "I am Julia Child" and inferred, let's get on with this, sonny. So I saw the movie (this is four films I have seen in their entirety in t...

By A Blue River

I've been down to see my dad's grave only a few times since he died now more than 40 years ago. His final resting spot is something like 4-5 hours from my house in an almost forgotten village where the streets have no names. Each time I've visited the place in the last 25 years--twice--odd events struck.  The first time, in the early 1990s, I hadn't been by to see it in since I was 10-12 years old and swung by on a lark, somehow found the town on a map and parked my bike on one of the few paved streets in that little blue river town. I walked around remembering houses and buildings from one of my visits from my childhood. My dad had grown up in this town, and had graduated from high school there, when they still had a high school. His family settled in there as well, his brother, and assorted cousins and stuff. I'd been there for a wedding and a funeral when I was a kid, won my first fist fight (I'd lost a ton of them previously, of course) in an alley in that...